just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
