Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Randomize
