His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
