Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize