And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
