Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
