Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize