help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
