we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
why does every cop we meet know your name?
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
