I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Randomize
