oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize