I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I believe in your delicious
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Randomize
