i jhust puked up my retainher.
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Randomize
