We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Mom said you looked used
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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