I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
