mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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