1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
