I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
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