It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
