The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Randomize
