can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
