Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I feel like death gave me a hand job
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
