chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
