Only a mothe r could love this liver
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
