You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
