They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
