8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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