I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize