Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
