party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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