I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
