Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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