So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
I have post one night stand depression
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