everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
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