I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize