Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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