Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
We smell like vodka and hangover
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
