Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
false alarm, still single
Randomize
