Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
