i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Randomize
