there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Found your dick twin last night
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Randomize
