its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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