Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
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