So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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