brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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