don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
