Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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