butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
