is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
How external is "for external use only"?
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
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