fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
We got so high we made milksteak
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
