Swine flu. Run for my life!
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
We just shotgunned beers for America
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
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