the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Randomize
