Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
