I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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