Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
i just wanna soil my oats bro
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
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