I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize