i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize