I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
