After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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