apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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