it was like eating out sand paper
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
