he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Randomize
