I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
