ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize