Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
