Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
So apparently I’m into choking now
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
