am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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