I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
