I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
