I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
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