All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
