I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
