I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Randomize
