A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
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