i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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